How did we meet? Easy, the way almost everyone does—even folks in their 60s—online. But what happened?
Harvey: I’ve seen a lot of Match.com profiles—way too many—but this one’s cute, and she’s already “liked” me. Better yet, she can write coherently, without cliches. She’s a doc, but maybe she won’t be as self-centered as the others I’ve met. Funny, she doesn’t look Jewish.
Janaki: Cool photos! I love the one where he’s sporting a great multicolored scarf. And I like his self-description, using a lovely series of contrasting preferences. But why the NY Times over the Washington Post? Hope he isn’t an ex-NYer who disdains other cities. Still, there’s something intriguing about this cool-looking silver-haired gent who hikes and goes to farmer’s markets.
Harvey: She wants to know why I prefer the Times over the Post. Impressive that she reads both. Let’s see how she responds to my too-fine-for-some distinctions. She wants to talk before agreeing to meet for a walk. She’ll consent if “the conversation flows.” But two kids living at home—at her age? (go to Q&A for explanation) And she signed her note Janaki. And she doesn’t look Jewish. It’s Friday and if she’s interested, she’ll probably respond over the weekend with a time to talk.
Janaki: After months of no interesting messages from anyone online, I’ve got three interesting guys messaging me, with no time until Tuesday evening to figure out when I can talk.
Harvey: Sunday night and I haven’t heard from her. I guess I’m not a priority. Monday afternoon and she’s finally apologized for not her radio silence. Says the time just flew by. Space cadet? Other guys? She proposed a phone call Tuesday. A date certain—maybe she’s not like those other docs after all.
Janaki: It’s 11pm Tuesday, and I promised to call Harvey. I’ll message him in the morning if he’ll take a raincheck. Too bad I arranged calls with those other guys for tomorrow night.
Harvey: Should have known —just another self-centered doc. Looked up to for so long, holding life in their hands, they think they’re gods and can do what they want, without regard for others. I should write and tell her off. Got to let her know how I feel, yet leave the door open a crack in case she had some emergency. Wednesday morning, and finally a note. She didn’t call last night because she was catching up after a week of focusing on her kids. Wants to talk today. If this is her behavior pattern, it’s not going to work. Do I have to worry she’ll stand me up every time we make plans?
Janaki: Wednesday night and three Match phone calls lined up. First call lasts 75 minutes. The second, thirty-six. Harvey’s next; I’m tired and it’s past nine o’clock, but I already blew him off once.
Harvey: Four hours on the phone and we only stopped because it was 1:30 in the morning. Interesting, smart, kind, funny, thoughtful, and a keen listener. Felt like we could go on forever. She actually sent coordinates for our planned walk Saturday—a woman after my own heart. But she asked if my name was short for anything. Like what? She can’t imagine anyone being named Harvey on his birth certificate. Next, she’s going to ask if I’m a damn rabbit!
Janaki: Exhausted but exhilarated after that call. Can’t wait for Saturday.
The week passes, way too slowly, and it’s finally Saturday:
Janaki: It’s midday on Saturday and my feet are already throbbing. I already walked to services this morning, more than 4 miles total. Another 2 miles to meet Harvey. I tell him about my conversations with two other guys this week. You grew up in Greenbelt?
Harvey: That was one of the other guys.
Janaki: I should have taken notes.
Harvey: She said on the phone her birthday was coming up, so I bought her flowers.
Janaki: Tulips!
Harvey: I think that worked out.
Janaki: I think that worked out.
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